Why Perfectionism Might Be Holding You Back
The term perfectionism is commonly mistaken for ‘being perfect’ or ‘doing something perfectly’, but perfectionism is not about doing something perfectly. Perfectionism is when we place unrelenting standards on ourselves or pressure ourselves to meet high standards and then judge ourselves based on our ability to meet these high standards, hindering motivation, confidence, appropriate effort, and progress. Research suggests that, to some degree, with proper effort and progress, perfectionism may be excellent and motivating. However, perfectionism can be unhelpful and impact functioning and well-being when it is in overdrive.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is understood to involve three essential parts:
Relentless striving for high standards. These standards are typically extraordinarily demanding and/or almost impossible to achieve much perfectionism.
Judging oneself on the ability to meet these high standards.
Despite experiencing much perfectionism and the negative impacts of meeting or relentlessly striving for high standards, they continue to work towards them despite adverse consequences. Negative impacts may include depression, worry, relationship difficulties, sleep disturbances and procrastination.
It’s important to note that Perfectionism is much different from striving to be our best or working towards excellence in life. In fact, healthy striving for excellence and perfectionism can be positive and motivating. Healthy striving for excellence is different from unhealthy and unhelpful striving for perfectionism.
Some people may tend to set unrelenting standards across multiple domains of their lives or only one. Areas where perfectionism may arise include work, relationships, weight or appearance, sport, study, and life.
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can push you to strive for excellence and deliver exceptional work. For instance, a perfectionist might spend hours perfecting a presentation, ensuring every slide is flawless, and every word is correct. However, on the flip side, it often leads to unnecessary stress and can hinder your ability to take risks, learn from mistakes, and adapt to change. This personality trait is characterized by an unrelenting pursuit of perfection and setting impossibly high standards for people. The desire for perfection can hold you back from starting or completing stuff, leading to procrastination and a sense of overwhelm.
How might I know when perfectionism is a problem for me?
As mentioned above, setting goals and healthy striving for excellence helps us achieve essential tasks in life. However, these standards can impact our self-worth and emotional and physical well-being when they become unrelenting. People who have difficulties with perfectionism may experience some of the following:
Excessive checking. For example, proofreading a document or assignment an excessive number of times.
Reassurance seeking
Procrastinating (i.e., putting off starting an important task or project due to fear you won’t do a good enough job)
Not knowing when to stop.
Beliefs or thoughts such as ‘I must do things right the first time’, ‘I must do everything well’ and ‘I must not make mistakes’
Excessive organising or list-making
Avoiding situations that trigger a fear that you may fail
Being overly self-critical of yourself, especially if you are unable to meet your high standard
Difficulty delegating tasks
Giving up easily. For example, give up learning the guitar after two lessons because you can’t play an entire song yet.
Difficulties with perfectionism may also impact your mood, relationships, and feelings about yourself.
Related Article: What Is Stress And How Can I Manage It?
How can I address perfectionism?
If you think perfectionism may be getting in the way, it may be helpful to seek support to help you identify ways to set more flexible and achievable standards and goals. It may also be helpful to learn ways to reduce behaviours that maintain perfectionism, such as excessive checking or organising, avoidance, and procrastination.
ELD Psychologists have experience helping individuals address perfectionism and shift towards a healthy and flexible striving for excellence.
Meet Your Clinical Psychologists In Newcastle
Dr Emma Doolan is a Clinical Psychologist based in Newcastle. With a collaborative and evidence-based approach, she helps clients overcome various challenges such as anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma.
Emma is experienced in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and other modalities like schema therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and compassion-focused therapy. She holds a PhD in clinical psychology and has completed her registration as a clinical psychologist from AHPRA. Emma is a member of several professional associations, including ACPA, APS, AACBT, and APN.
Paige Cornell is a clinical psychologist in Newcastle who has experience in therapeutic modalities such as Motivational Interviewing, CBT, Schema Therapy, DBT, and ACT. She focuses on building a solid therapeutic relationship and tailoring treatment to each individual. Paige has experience in private practice, NGOs, and forensic settings.
She works with a diverse range of mental health issues, including anxiety, mood disorders, PTSD, relationship problems, substance abuse, and offending behaviours. Paige is particularly interested in helping LGBTQI+ individuals and those dealing with trauma and substance abuse. She is fully registered and endorsed as a clinical psychologist and a board-approved supervisor for psychologists. Paige is a member of ACPA and APS, holding a Master's in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor's in Psychological Science (Honours).
Taylah Armstrong is a Clinical Psychologist in Newcastle. She focuses on developing solid therapeutic relationships to assist individuals in enhancing their well-being and achieving their goals. Taylah is skilled in treating various concerns such as anxiety, stress, mood disorders, trauma, and eating disorders.
She utilises evidence-based therapies like CBT, DBT, and ACT. Taylah has worked in public healthcare, primary care, and education sectors. She is fully registered and endorsed as a clinical psychologist by AHPRA and holds a Master's and Bachelor's degree in Psychology from the University of Newcastle.
Paige Whitfield is a clinical psychologist in Newcastle with experience in private and public health settings. She collaborates with health professionals, families, and schools to provide evidence-based treatments like CBT, Narrative Therapy, and ACT for various issues. Paige has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology (Honours) and a Master's in Clinical Psychology. She is fully registered and endorsed as a clinical psychologist and is a member of APS and ACPA.
Dr Kaitlin Fitzgerald is a clinical psychologist in Newcastle who takes a collaborative and client-centred approach to therapy. She creates a warm and relaxed environment for clients, aiming to make therapy sessions comfortable and even enjoyable. Kaitlin holds a Doctor of Philosophy in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor of Psychology (Honours) from the University of Newcastle. In addition to her private practice at ELD Psychology, she also works in public mental health treating adults with various mental health issues.
Kaitlin has experience working with a wide range of concerns, such as anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. She is skilled in evidence-based therapies like CBT, Schema Therapy, DBT, and ACT. Kaitlin is fully registered as a clinical psychologist with AHPRA and is approved to supervise provisional and registered psychologists.
Eliza Newton is a person-centred Clinical Psychologist dedicated to helping clients explore their deeper selves. She tailors her approach to each client, using psychodynamic therapy for self-exploration or structured techniques like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and Schema Therapy. Eliza focuses on individuals overcoming childhood trauma, including Complex PTSD, and helps those with ADHD develop organisational and emotional well-being strategies. With experience in private practice, inpatient settings, and psychiatric rehabilitation, she addresses challenges from anxiety and mood disorders to severe mental illness.
Eliza holds a Bachelor of Psychology (Honours) from the University of Newcastle and a Master of Clinical Psychology from Western Sydney University. She is registered as a Clinical Psychologist with AHPRA and is a member of AAPi and ACPA.
Disclaimer
The content provided on this blog is intended for Australian audiences and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared here is based on general knowledge and experience in the field of psychology, but it may not be applicable to your specific situation.
Always seek the advice of your psychologist or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a psychological condition or treatment. Never disregard professional psychological advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor, or dial 000 immediately. This blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
The opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of any affiliated organisations or institutions.